To: BIOMCH-L@NIC.SURFNET.NL


As a scientist, I am not surprised that some of our more 'normal' colleagues
express their doubts about what we do or are supposed to do, especially if
they read what we write or are coerced to write by our institutions.

For example, they notice:

1. the increasing trend for academic papers to have a huge list of authors
(to ensure that everyone in a given department accrues the requisite number of
accredited publications by age 30),

2. the large number of papers which seem to be variations on the same theme
(to ensure that department or groups attract sufficient funding or awards)

3. the extremely impressive-looking and obscure jargon (often meant to
obfuscate and impress more than to enlighten all but the high priests),

4. the apparently trivial, irrelevant or repetitive results.

Here is a light-hearted look at what we may soon be reading unless we pay more
serious attention to the philosophy of research and the way in which we
communicate it.

This is actually an example of the sort of imaginary text that I compiled to
teach technical and scientific communication to senior and postgraduate
students at my former university. In fact, my prescribed 'homework' often
required students to find examples of scientific writing for stylistic
analysis, class discussion and editing for greater comprehension.

This proved to be a very valuable teaching tool, but it occurred to me that
far too many papers, though they be intended for erudite technical audiences,
still make little serious attempt to ensure communicative clarity.

Does anyone think that the below tongue-in-cheek example is exaggerating what
we sometimes have to cope with in keeping up to date with current research?

Mel Siff
------------------------------------------------------

Journal of Applied Conjectural Hermenotherapeutics
Vol. 30098, No. 4568, pp. 11252-11262, 1998.

TITLE: Biomechanical correlates and deductions, with practical implications,
based on videographic, force plate, electromyographic and electrogoniometric
measurement, associated with a typical closed chain exercise involving knee
articular flexion and extension of a cohort of predominantly XY chromosomal
subjects

AUTHORS: Jones CL, Cranston R, Lightbody T, Dertinovsky G, Garritonsifersty
Y, Kilroy D, Raddison R, Pranstonswersky F, Carlos J, Waterson W, Petersen A,
Stanislawsy J, Matrinson B, Bradislawska H, Halleron J, Transitska F,
Hatmaachersfeld S, Swindelson E, Erudistky, Ku Wing Da J, Grantserton L, Van
der Lanaders E, ChuLing L, Ng Ju K, Ndemana I, Donnaforgetme T, Norme L,
Ananotherone Q, Huachtlachotlican N

ABSTRACT

The closed chain knee flexion-extension manoeuvre under gravitational loading
with shoulder-borne longitudinal stress imposition, otherwise known as the
squat, is characterized by an increase in maximum voluntary contraction force
during bilateral activation of homologous muscles compared with sum of the
forces produced during unilateral MVC of the muscles during partially flexed
knee posture under isometric activation.

A proposed relationship between the squatting motion and the ability to exert
adequate force to prevent uncontrolled descent was investigated using a RT5678
Matusalutsu digital video recording system, a TransElectra FX743A Series B
force plate (integrated piezo-strain gauge system), Bruwer TT34/YZ
electrogoniometer, and ShockitTome ER1237 EMG machine, all interfaced with an
HP series 56T 400MHz PC via an A to D card sampling at a rate of 40000Hz.

A group of 234 XY chromosomal subjects (mean age 24.6 +/- 3.7 years) was
examined over a period of 234164 repetitions of knee extensions and flexions
spanning 348 sets using a mean load of 12.5 +/- 21.5 kg and the parents of
these subjects were monitored for any correlational responses to the cadence
of these squatting actions, which uniquely were performed in the bathroom
after the ingestion of various high fibre nutritional actions.

Gaussian, Newton-Raphson, Einstein-Bose, Schrodinger-Elway, Student F-test,
Clinton-Lewinsky and various other statistical procedures were performed on
the motions observed in 5 degree increments throughout the range of motion in
each case and summated, extrapolated and subconvoluted to extract any Fourier
transforms which may have been obfuscated in the superposed singularities
known to occur during some epochs of this type of articular action.

Our findings agreed with previously recorded observations that the knee
probably does flex and extend by more than 5 degrees during the full squat
(p<0.001).

This study facilitated by Govt Grant No GT/23987 for $4.7 million.
________________________________________________________________

Dr Mel C Siff
Colorado, USA
mcsiff@aol.com

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